Archive for the ‘Murder Burger’ Category

New Murder Burger ads are being stuck on buildings tonight.

October 22, 2008

You can steal them if you want. We have a bunch of others.

Interestingly, you can pee on them and it doesn’t seem to have any effect.


Anytime’s a good time for a Murder Burger. As long as it’s one of the times listed below.

October 5, 2008

Here’s our opening hours. Posted especially for all those people that keep emailing us asking what our opening hours are. You can probably all stop emailing us now.

Murder Burger advert breaks rules by breaking no rules.

October 3, 2008

Had a weird conversation with ‘Advertising Standards Authority’ today about one of our ads for the Auckland store. Seems we can’t run it anymore because it breaches some sort of something. 

Me: “Is it because of the picture of the guy? Because you can’t see his willie or anything”

Them: “No the picture is fine, it’s the line we have the problem with”

Me: “So if I took the line off the picture we could still run the ad?”

Them: “Yep, that would be fine”

Me: “Is it because we aren’t allowed to say ‘pooh’? Because I’ve been saying that since I was 2, and if we banish the word from everyday use I’m not sure what kids will do when they need to have a crap – because I’m pretty sure “Mum I need to have a shit” isn’t going to fly in most households”

Them: “Well, you can say ‘pooh’ and you can have the line if you don’t have the photo”

(5 seconds silence)

Me: “So let me get this straight. The line is OK without the picture, and the picture is OK without the line, but when I put the OK line with the OK picture everything is no longer OK.”

Them: “Yes, that’s right”

Me: “Wow…. this is the first time I’ve ever known two rights to make a wrong”

Them: “Indeed”

Dubai all tangled up in weird

October 1, 2008


Had to race over to Dubai for a couple of days to see some dudes. It’s a crazy weirded out place that is somehow a perfect mash up of  2030 and 1972. This is a photo that you can actually buy as a tourist momento, it pretty much sums everything up.

We’re open. Rock on WOOOOh.

September 25, 2008

Boxed ticked. Move on.

September 25, 2008

Had to add a bunch of signs to the store today to get our ‘food service certificate’ signed off by the powers that be. Turns out, as long as you get your point across you can pretty much say whatever you want.


September 22, 2008


Just got an email from Russia. Turns out there’s three girls from St Petersburg who saw our ad on the net and are now planning on coming over  to NZ to work for us and have a look around the country over summer! They also sent us some pictures but we can’t post them.. if you know what I mean.

Mostly Redundant

September 21, 2008

I always thought it was weird for food places to have a website that told you all about their food.  The way I figure it you have already heard their food is either great or suck and having a website saying “Hey, we’re actually awesome” is going to make bugger all difference to you going there.

Hell, the only reason we bought this URL in the first place was to stop someone else from getting it so we’re just going to use it to post interesting stuff and then claim it all back as a tax expense under the broad term “marketing”.